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End of Year / Top 20 Cat Photos

1/1/2016

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First, a lil 2015 personal update. I had a blast working on Power Rangers this year. When I get some time I'll do a post about some of the things I've learned. In a nutshell, working in a TV writing room is simultaneously the most rewarding, fun, and difficult job I've ever had. I love it. Anyway, my first three Power Rangers Dino Charge co-writing credits have now aired, they are episodes 17 'World Famous (In New Zealand!)', 18 'Deep Down Under' and 20 'One More Energem'. The first 8 episodes of the season are on Netflix, and I'm hoping that means the rest will show up too. I'm pretty pumped for Dino Super Charge to come out in 2016 as well.

And now the main event... in no particular order, The Officially Selected Top 20 2015 Photos of Sabian Squid (Saby the Cat). Click to enlarge!

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Auckland 'n Stuff

9/1/2014

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Hey look, I’m alive!

I think I am, anyway. I marathoned most of Hannibal season 1 over the weekend, and it got a little hard to tell by the end due to the constant barrage of madness in that wonderful show. Anyway, I haven’t updated in ages. Since my last entry I have:
  • Moved from Wellington to Auckland (!!)
  • Been lucky enough to start a new job as the writing team intern for a TV show (!!!)
  • Spent actual grown-up money on things like a car, a fridge and a washing machine instead of an aquarium, a virtual reality machine or a year’s supply of Skittles 
  • Spent a whole month away from my cat (boooooo! Get her back soon, though)

So, because nothing makes me happier than brainstorming these, here’s some B-movie ideas:

  • Ex-NASA employee Dahlia quit her beloved job to raise her daughter Kaylee, and these days delights in simple things like finding a tiny asteroid on the beach - perfect for Kaylee’s upcoming Science Fair! But when the asteroid emits a green gas which merges the school students into a giant scuttling monster made of child limbs, Dahlia must draw on her top secret NASA skills to get her daughter back from the... SCIENCE FEAR!

  • Local mad scientist Regina is tired of her nerdy next-door neighbour Dillon trying to spy on her. So naturally, she defies all logic and science and hacks his computer to sends pixels flying out of his monitor and into his skin. There, the evil pixels burrow deeply and take over his brain, making him Regina’s test puppet in… ATTACK OF THE PORE PIXELS!

  • When feuding Civil Defense responders Marsha and Frederick are attacked by a Godzilla-like monster and swallowed whole, they are surprised to find themselves alive and well in the stomach of the beast. With limited time before the stomach acid devours them, Marsha and Frederick must deal with the BEAST CASE SCENARIO. 

  • Recently promoted FBI agent Carmen Dallington is determined to solve the murder of the popular Doctor Williams at the county hospital. Dr Williams is same man who narrowly escaped a tragic hospital fire twenty years earlier, so when Camilla can’t find a single clue to solve his murder, she is forced to examine the only person alive who could hold grudge against him… a woman with no sense of smell, touch, hearing, vision or taste, who wasn’t so lucky in the fire... and who may be capable of... SENSELESS MURDER. 

  • Sharon’s dreams have always been vivid, but after breaking up with her asshole husband, night time gets a little wild. Sharon dreams constantly of her knight in shining armor, a noble man who at first seems like he has come to sweep her off her feet and treat her like a lady forever. But when Sharon’s dreams become a little too real and she starts waking up with chain-mail shaped scars, she must acknowledge her own personal… KNIGHTMARE. 

I’ll see myself out.
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Brain Farts

5/24/2014

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I’m excited for next weekend - our 3rd Script-Write-A-Thon. I’ll be writing a new draft of GASH PALACE, hopefully within the 48 hours since I've carded it out properly this time. I’ve well and truly learned my lesson from last time when I went in without an ending planned and came out with a script without an ending. Womp waaa. Hopefully we’ll have a bunch of other writers turn up and we’ll eat a whole bunch of candy and have some fun.

In other news, on Friday night I finally saw THE ABYSS (director’s cut) for the first time. I mean it's completely silly and all, but it made me and decide I’d really like to write a movie set mostly under water. Maybe this is still running off the fun we had during 48 Hours, too. So here’s a couple of spitballed half-formed ideas for one…

UNDER WATER THEMED IDEAS:

- Skylar and Danny, a husband and wife spearfishing team, discover a dumped load of nuclear waste on the ocean floor and Danny is tragically killed… or so Skylar thinks. When people in their community are maimed and hurt by what turns out to be mysterious fish-man hybrid, Skylar must hunt the catch of a life-time: her radioactive husband. Possible title - HE’S A CATCH.

- A group of seafaring teenagers discover a community of New Zealand’s multi-millionaires living in a top secret underwater luxury compound on the ocean floor. But when they infiltrate the compound, they discover the rich folks are hiding more than just their place of residence. They’re survivalists, waiting in safety for an impending natural disaster only the ultra-rich have been warned about.

- Or alternatively - A group of seafaring teenagers discover a community of New Zealand’s multi-millionaires living in a top secret underwater luxury compound on the ocean floor. But when they infiltrate the compound, they discover the rich folks are hiding more than just their place of residence (or their favourite holiday spot). They’re religious slaves to a tentacled monster who lives under their compound, their sea-God. Once they’re inevitably captured, the teens must find a way to overthrow the underwater cult and escape being sacrificed to the ancient beast.

- A group of scientist undersea people (think swamp people of the sea rather than mermaids) kidnap Greenpeace worker Alison from her ship, and keep her in underwater caves for studying for weeks. She gradually falls for one of her captors’ sons, a kind young sea person named Quark. Together they hatch a plan to escape together, away from Quark’s father’s harsh sea laws and negative views on land people.

- When Navy Lieutenant Clara Smith’s submarine goes down, she’s left trapped under the sea with only one other survivor. It’s her least favourite superior, Commander Lisa Smith - who also happens to be her sister. Clara and Lisa must wait out potential rescue or find a way to survive. Alternatively, have them not be related and be women who once hid a relationship from the rest of their fleet. Underwater lesbian ex drama? Sure, why not.



Right, those are pretty bad. That's fine, that's what this blog is for: brain farts. Enjoy!

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Belated Yay

5/10/2014

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I just realised I've forgotten to update and say HURRAY, Squidwig Productions made the Wellington 48Hours final with our little film YES I CAN! Plus, we were nominated and then won (!!!) Best Art Direction for Wellington!

Super stoked about this, but mostly happy that we had such a blast making it. Sometimes 48Hours can be a stressful affair, but going into it with very little gear this year gave us a 'screw it, let's have fun!' attitude which gave our end product a lot of extra life. Plus our crew & actors were off the chain amazing <3

Anyways, here's the film!

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Post 48 Hours + B Movie Titles

4/12/2014

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Last weekend was 48 Hours, and Squidwig Productions had a blast creating our ocean creature riddled short YES I CAN!, starring our favourite 11 year old Mikayla Pratley. Our heat is on Tuesday, and it’ll be cool to see whether having the least stressful 48 Hours ever translates to the end product on the big screen.

We made the choice to do 98% of the shoot of our ‘Against the Odds’ genre film in our lounge, despite the large scope story we went with. With a tiny team and very little equipment, it ended up being an excellent choice for us as we didn’t have to lose time looking for and getting to and from other locations.

The result? Fun! Tons of fun. It was a rad weekend. Limitations bred creativity, and our lounge has yet to recover from all the weird, home-made art department stuff we put it through.

The following week, however, was not so fun. With a messy house and a ton of other work to do, it’s been good to do some sweet, sweet nothing on Saturday and some writin’ today.

I’m in the mood to write some B movie titles (*cough* when am I ever not? *cough*). Here’s a bunch...


B MOVIES TITLES:

WITCHES ON WHEELS: This one is about an all-witch gang who have swapped out brooms for motorcycles. They definitely have black cats riding with them, potentially in tiny sidecars.

DEPTH PERCEPTION: An ex-deepsea diver returns to the sea to hunt for the elusive giant squid that took her left eye and left her for dead. Alternative title: TIDES! TERROR! TENTACLES!

SHE-BOGAN: This one is inspired by a friend’s Facebook status calling someone who was rude to her a SHE-BOGAN. I suspect this movie would be about a bogan lady who gets Hulk like abilities but loses none of her bogan charm. There would be someone crushed by the force of a thousand ugg boots.

FLESH EATIN’ FERRETS or FEAST OF THE FERRETS: A family Christmas goes terrible wrong when their home is invaded by flesh eatin’ ferrets. In-laws who hate each other must work together to defend themselves from slinky horrors.

PUSTULES OF THE PACIFIC: A fishing trawler in the Pacific Ocean is hit by a mysterious disease that starts out as gross pustules, then moves out to crew members jumping overboard, then has them return as fish-like hybrid creatures. Could also potentially be a period piece - PUSTULE PIRATES - a ship carrying settlers to New Zealand is attacked by a band of crazed pustule covered half-squid-half-pirate creatures.  

I’m clearly still stuck in an oceanic frame of mind. Better go have fish and chips for tea.


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Pre-48 Hours Post

3/29/2014

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Next weekend is 48HOURS 2014! It has really sneaked up on us. Squidwig Productions have a small team and are planning on keepin’ it casual this year. 

These are some handy goals for the weekend anyone else participating might find useful too:


SIX GOALS FOR 48 HOURS 2014

6. AVOID EATING NOTHING BUT CHOCOLATE AND V ALL WEEKEND. CONSUME SOMETHING GREEN OR DIE. 


5. Sleep. At least 5 hours of it encouraged for each team member over the weekend, so you can…

4. Avoid flipping out at the computer no matter how long it takes to render. This is a solemn vow I, Becca Barnes, swear by at this moment. Swallow your rage, Becca. Swallow it good.

3. Write for what you have, not what you want to have. It’s really easy to fall into the trap of overcommitting with 48HOUR films (“Hey I know, let’s enter 2 teams and do TWO interconnected movies!" - us, 2012). We’d rather do a tight 3 minute film than a sloppy 6 minute film. That being said, taking risks and pulling it off is basically like crack on a 48HOURS weekend, so see how you go…

2. Nail the genre, whatever it may be. Our team has never had musical. It could happen. We will make it work. We totally know how to make a comb kazoo. 

1. Fun. Even if it’s ‘climbing around in the mud under a house for 6 hours’ sort of fun, it will be a bloody great time. 48HOURS is about hanging with buddies (and making new ones) just as much as it is about making a movie. That being said, after last year, I am never getting under a house again. There are only so many rat skeletons a girl needs to meet.

Keep an eye on @BeccaBarnesCats Twitter and Instagram feeds for updates next weekend!

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THE ROBOT MONOLOGUES - Fringe 2014

2/9/2014

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No blog this week! Just this.

THE ROBOT MONOLOGUES
Starring Emma Smith
Written & Directed by Becca Barnes & Alwyn Dale 

When Astrid has a near death experience, she discovers that she’s actually a robot. Join her as she shares the stories of six other robots from all walks of synthetic life. 

Emotion isn't a bug, it's a feature.

THE ROBOT MONOLOGUES will be at Newtown Community Centre on:
- Fri 14th Feb, 8pm
- Sat 15th Feb, 8pm
- Sun 16th Feb, 12.30pm
- Sun 16th Feb, 8pm

Koha entry. Email squidwigproductions@gmail.com to make a booking, or just turn up and hope we're not full and/or slaves to our new robotic overlords.

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February and The Pope

2/1/2014

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Hello! It’s February, holy shit.

January was eaten by play rehearsals, writing, and Simpsons Tapped Out. Ssssh, tell no one about that last thing. I spent today trying to get the first 25 pages of GASH PALACE up to scratch for an upcoming writer’s workshop, and it’s on more or less track. Although, I changed so much stuff, the rest of the story will need a once-or-twice-or-twenty-over.

Had a lot of fun with research this week. Who knew how many YouTube videos there were of people explaining how a car crusher worked? There are many, and all of the dudes explaining have really awesome beards.

I’m still flicking between the various directing books looking for answers on things I have questions about. Too many of those sessions end with me going “Ooo, I should buy a new lens” and going down a Trade Me rabbit hole, so I should probably put a can on that (note: have resisted thus far, mostly because I still know shit all about lenses).

NEW IDEAS!

So, there’s been a lot of oddly specific movie worthy news articles floating around lately. A vial of Pope John Paul ll’s blood was stolen from a little church in the mountains east of Rome. Here’s three ideas based around that:

  •  Movie about a kickass secret service style NUN SQUAD sent to retrieve the vial before it’s used to raise up the Pope’s body with the spirit of Satan. They fail, and must kill The Anti-Pope.
  • Movie about the small, tight-knit community who relied on the vial of blood in their church to bring them good fortune from God, and how they fall apart and blame each other new bad fortune and the vial's disappearance.
  • Movie about the two country teenagers who were paid to steal the vial, but then find out they’re being paid by a Satanic cult who wish to use it to bring down the church with black magic. So now they’re on the run from a group of angry Satanists AND the Nun Squad mentioned above. Eeep!


None of this of true, but it’s nice when the news gives you a chance to dream, right?
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Today's Sunday Funday

1/25/2014

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It’s Sunday evening, and Wellington weather is having a hissy fit outside. I’m still in the office, a long and bloody battle with twenty or so carded out scenes today.

This is how my day went:
It’s not working, it’s not working, it’s not working, it’s not working, it’s not working, it’s not worki-- oh, shit, this actually kinda makes sense now. Cool.

It might sound sort of depressing, but it actually kind of gives me hope in a weird way. I’m getting fairly confident the ‘It’s working!’ moment will eventually turn up if I keep at it. I’m not one of those people who believes inspiration comes from an invisible golden monkey sitting in the sky. The only reason I make any progress at all with a story is because I’m incredibly stubborn about making it work to the point of (metaphorically) punching myself in the brain until it does.

“Ooo, that all sounds positive..ish!”

Hmm, there’s still that flipside along the lines of what I mentioned last week. For every time I solve a problem, there’s probably about twenty more ready to crop up, often negating everything I’ve previously just figured out. But that’s just part of it. Right? Rightttt??? ...Shut up, you’re not my real Dad. Overall, though, I'm pretty happy with where GASH PALACE is heading.

So that’s where I’m at with writing. For directing, this week I started reading a book recommended by some friends called Grammar of the Shot by Christopher J. Bowen & Roy Thompson. It’s cool, it’s the closest book I’ve found to finger puppet explaining (aka. it’s nice and simple). Apparently it’s the classic “Hey, read this!” at Auckland film schools. My film school was more fond of Directing Actors: Creating Memorable Performances for Film & Television by Judith Weston. Also a great read for those wanting to focus on working with actors rather than the technical side of things.

Okay, I have a headache and I want to go home and watch something trashy. Although, it’ll hard to beat last night’s viewing trash wise: FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC (2014, Lifetime channel remake), and THE DISCO EXORCIST (2011). Both suitably terrible. Anyway, here’s some trash of my own, inspired by a book of drive-in movie posters I got in the states.

THREE NEW IDEAS!

  • REPTILE QUEEN: Set in a world just like ours, a teenage Princess is sick of the demands of her Grandmother, the Queen of England. After walking in on her Grandmother unzipping her skin to reveal the fact that she is a LIZARD PERSON, the Princess must reassess everything she knows about her family, herself, and the dark reptilian secrets of the monarchy. 

  • THE BEARDED AUNTY: When beautiful Vera’s long lost circus performer Aunt comes to stay with her and her ailing mother, something doesn’t feel quite right - especially when her circus freak pals turn up and they all decide that ‘with a little tweaking’, Vera would make a very good addition to the freak show indeed…

  • CONTROLL: A small garden troll makes befriends a little girl and convinces her that her family doesn’t love her, and she should eat his magical troll berries and join the troll race who will be her new family (oh god, I’m sorry guys, my buddy Jez bought me a ceramic troll back from overseas and he’s sitting on my desk staring at me telling me to write bad movie ideas about him… time to go home).
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10 Steps Forward, 9 Steps Back

1/18/2014

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Hello and welcome to another edition of ‘Becca writes her blog really fast on a Sunday afternoon because the time is probably better spent writing scripts.’ As the title suggests, I’ve had a slightly annoying week. I’ve had a whole bunch of breakthroughs with Gash Palace (yay!) but each of them has meant some major structural changes requiring massive rewrites (boo-- but also yay-- oh, I don’t know how to feel).

Regarding directing, this week I looked into the line some more and got suitably confused once I got up to multiple lines of action in things like car races. I’ll look into that again next week, and will potentially enlist a friend with finger puppets to help answer some questions I have. I also started reading a book called ‘Making the Transformational Moment in Film’ by Dan Fleming, which centres around Vincent Ward’s work. Looks like the sort of thing I’d have dreaded ploughing through at university, but I’m a little older and wiser now, as well as much less likely to be hungover than I was during first year uni in 2007.

We’re pretty busy at the moment with rehearsals for The Robot Monologues after hours, but it’s coming along nicely and you should come. Yes you, singular-reader-of-my-blog-who-is-probably-my-Mum.

Another thing I wanted to do in my blog this week recommend the Screenwriters’ Lecture Series podcast produced by BAFTA. I’ve just finished everything up so far and it’s bloody great. It’s a whole bunch of professional screenwriters giving 1 hour lectures about the craft. It’s worth listening to the lot just so you get to experience the way every writer works in different ways. But if you’re going to try just one, listen to Charlie Kaufman’s. He made me cry on a treadmill at the gym. Classy.

THREE NEW IDEAS!

Welp, I really got nothing this week because I’ve been so flat out, so I’ll try and come up with something right now. Warning: incoming bollocks.

  • SNAKE BRIDE - When Scott puts his rare snake importing business ahead of planning for his wedding, he gets more than he bargained for after his fiance is bitten by a mystery cobra whose poison turns her from Bridezilla to Snakezilla. 

  • PUTTING THE PAL IN PRINCIPAL - Two teenagers sick of their boring small town decide to start a rumour about their overly peppy principal being married to his sister to shake things up. Soon the teenagers finds themselves drugged and locked in the principal’s basement - uh oh, the rumour was true, and they’re locked down there with the strange product of their principal’s sordid relationship - a teenage girl who has never seen sunlight or met anyone other than her parents. Together the teens from outside must work together to escape and expose the principal, but they need the help of the daughter if they’re ever going to get out. They must unbrainwash and educate the daughter who hates them, and idolises her parents.

  • FURRY FURY - A middle-aged woman bored with her husband and job stumbles across a new community and a secret new passion: sex in furry suits. But when Sheila lies to her husband and goes on a retreat with the group, she finds all is not as it seems. The group worship a race of undiscovered intelligent furry creatures living in a society under the woods, and Sheila’s next on the list of human sacrifices to the furry overlords. 

Anyway, tomorrow is Wellington Anniversary Day, a public holiday from day-job. I’m going to take advantage of a free writing day and try and plough through all the rewrites to get back on track. I feel a bit like writing’s clingy girlfriend at the moment, grabbing every spare hour I can get to spend with it. Hey baby, I heard you like tight stories and multi-dimensional characters. Me too, gee, we have so much in common…
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